i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
The ass gains better be worth it
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
