We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Someone shattered a urinal.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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