my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
as a side note pls kill me
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
