What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
