Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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