My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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