chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
