Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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