God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
