Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
