I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
