Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
