If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
