never play flip cup with pint glasses
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize