hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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