I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
