Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize
