Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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