If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
