Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I accidentally burped into my bong.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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