mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
