I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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