just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize