I'm pants shitting drunk right now
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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