We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
