The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
