porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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