I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
