Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
