Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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