i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
