are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
