I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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