I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
