DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
