i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
