Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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