you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
