To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Boobs speak an international language.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
