Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize