I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
