and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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