he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I am full of burrito and curiosity
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
