Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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