The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
