the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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