i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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