There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
