i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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