so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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