I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
