sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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