The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
