I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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