You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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