the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize