I can tuck mytits in my pants
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
