is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
