My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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