Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
