the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
