My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
