So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You need Xanax blowdarts
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
